Dear manager,

　　I am Li Ming.I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy in your shop in february.

　　The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life. In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october. In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this circustances, I find it terrible to your work and upset me.

　　I appreciate it very much if you could refund me, preferably, as soon as possible,and I would like to have this matter setteled by three days.

　　Thank you for consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.

　　Yours sincerely,

　　考研英語作文批改點評如下：

　　Li Ming.

　　Dear manager,

　　I am Li Ming.I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy in your shop in february(拼寫錯誤，改為February).

　　The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life(不能理解你的意思). In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october(這是中式英語，應刪除，此外月份要大寫). In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this(改為these) circustances, I find it terrible to your work and upset me.

　　I appreciate it very much if you could refund me(加the money), preferably, as soon as possible ,and I would like to have this matter setteled (拼寫錯誤，改為settled)by(后面是具體的時間，此處應改為in) three days.

　　Thank you for (加your)consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.

　　Yours sincerely,

　　Li Ming.

　　2分

　　同學你好，標點符號與后面的單詞空一格。語法錯誤比較多，建議你多背一些好的句型，此外，再細心一點，盡量避免出現單詞拼寫錯誤。

　Dear manager,

　　I am Li Ming.I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy in your shop in february.

　　The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life. In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october. In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this circustances, I find it terrible to your work and upset me.

　　I appreciate it very much if you could refund me, preferably, as soon as possible,and I would like to have this matter setteled by three days.

　　Thank you for consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.

　　Yours sincerely,

　　考研英語作文批改點評如下：

　　Li Ming.

　　Dear manager,

　　I am Li Ming.I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about the moisturizing cream which I was buy in your shop in february(拼寫錯誤，改為February).

　　The reason for my dissatisfaction is it has been bad before its useful-life(不能理解你的意思). In the first place, it smells horrible now, just in october(這是中式英語，應刪除，此外月份要大寫). In addition, it has been totally bad. I did not dare to use it anymore. Under this(改為these) circustances, I find it terrible to your work and upset me.

　　I appreciate it very much if you could refund me(加the money), preferably, as soon as possible ,and I would like to have this matter setteled (拼寫錯誤，改為settled)by(后面是具體的時間，此處應改為in) three days.

　　Thank you for (加your)consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.

　　Yours sincerely,

　　Li Ming.

　　2分

　　同學你好，標點符號與后面的單詞空一格。語法錯誤比較多，建議你多背一些好的句型，此外，再細心一點，盡量避免出現單詞拼寫錯誤。