拒絕還是接納——來自流浪漢的啟發

生活中，我們常常要面臨選擇，比如選擇接納，或者拒絕。那么，究竟怎樣的選擇才是對我們最好的呢？

I was out for my usual morning run and found myself stumbling through the late-summer heat, wishing I had taken a water bottle. I stopped under a bridge for a moment of shade, I saw two young, scruffymen standing next to their sleeping bags. One smiled and gently raised his hand as if motioning“hello” but didn’t say a word. He wasn’t asking for anything. I smiled and made the same motion back to him.

我像往常一樣，早起晨跑，結果發現發現自己被夏末的熱浪搞得夠嗆，真希望當時帶了一瓶水喝。我跑到一座橋下，就這那的陰影乘了一會涼，看見兩個邋遢的男人站在睡袋旁。一個微笑著輕輕舉起手，好像在說“你好”，卻一個字也沒說。他沒有要求任何東西。我微笑著和他做了同樣的動作。

As I started back on my run, I thought about how much we all crave connection. In that moment, this homeless man seemed to want to connect more than he wanted food or money.

當我開始繼續跑步時，我意識到我們是多么渴望與別人建立關系。在那一刻，比起他想要的食物或錢，這個無家可歸的人似乎更想要人與人間的聯系。

We have all had experiences of feeling separate and lonely. I have felt lonely being in a relationship that was void of emotional connection. Feeling separation doesn’t have anything to do with being alone vs. being with people — it is about the human desire to feel connected by being seen and valued by another person.

我們都有過孤獨的經歷。我曾在一段沒有情感聯系的關系中感受過孤獨。孤獨感的產生與是否孑然一身或是否與人在一起并沒有任何關系——它關乎的是人類對人際關系的渴望，那種被人看見并珍視的感覺。

If your tendency is to spend time alone, practice saying yes to invitations. Practice moving towards rather than away from people.

如果你傾向于獨自消磨時光，那么試著練習接受別人的邀請。試著學會和大家一起度過時光，而不是遠離他們。

We all benefit from connection. That homeless man impacted my day. After encountering him, I felt more grateful — appreciating all that I have. He triggered my compassion — I found myself feelingempathy for him. I had the choice to move towards separation or connection. Were there many ways in which he and I are very different? Absolutely! Are there many ways in which we are alike! Absolutely! I can reflect on times in my life that like him, I was in a situation I had never anticipated, times that I felt broke, times that I felt at a low point. And as he may have been feeling this morning, times when I needed someone to stop and acknowledge me.

我們都會從與人交流中受益。那位無家可歸的人影響了我的一天。遇到他后，我感到更為感恩，感激我所擁有的一切。他激發了我的憐憫之情，我發現自己對他有了同理心。我能夠選擇到底是與人疏遠還是與人交流。他和我有很多不同之處嗎?絕對有!他和我有很多相似之處?絕對有!我能回想起自己生命中與他一樣的時刻，像這樣處于一個我從未預料到的情況之中：支離破碎、踟躕低谷;以及像他今天早上可能感覺到的一樣，需要有人為我停下腳步，不把我當透明人看。

We always have a choice as to whether we move towards separation or connection. Separation is looking at the homeless person and focusing on how unkempt he looks, and criticizing why he has a 7-11 Slurpee cup if he is out of money. Connection is acknowledging that he impacted my day by reaching out to me.

我們總可以選擇是拒人于千里之外還是與接納別人。拒人于千里之外，就是看到無家可歸的人時只注意到他看起來是多么凌亂，并錙銖必較地想著如果他身無分文又為何有一個7-11思樂冰杯。而接納他，則是是承認他通過主動接觸我而影響了我的一天。

Pay attention today and notice whether you tend to move towards separation or towards connection. Pay attention today and notice whether that is working well for you.

關注當下，仔細想想你的方向到底是拒絕還是接納。關注當下，想想這么做是不是真的對你好。

更多精彩內容，請查閱自學庫英語網http://yingyu.chazidian.com/

生活中，我們常常要面臨選擇，比如選擇接納，或者拒絕。那么，究竟怎樣的選擇才是對我們最好的呢？

I was out for my usual morning run and found myself stumbling through the late-summer heat, wishing I had taken a water bottle. I stopped under a bridge for a moment of shade, I saw two young, scruffymen standing next to their sleeping bags. One smiled and gently raised his hand as if motioning“hello” but didn’t say a word. He wasn’t asking for anything. I smiled and made the same motion back to him.

我像往常一樣，早起晨跑，結果發現發現自己被夏末的熱浪搞得夠嗆，真希望當時帶了一瓶水喝。我跑到一座橋下，就這那的陰影乘了一會涼，看見兩個邋遢的男人站在睡袋旁。一個微笑著輕輕舉起手，好像在說“你好”，卻一個字也沒說。他沒有要求任何東西。我微笑著和他做了同樣的動作。

As I started back on my run, I thought about how much we all crave connection. In that moment, this homeless man seemed to want to connect more than he wanted food or money.

當我開始繼續跑步時，我意識到我們是多么渴望與別人建立關系。在那一刻，比起他想要的食物或錢，這個無家可歸的人似乎更想要人與人間的聯系。

We have all had experiences of feeling separate and lonely. I have felt lonely being in a relationship that was void of emotional connection. Feeling separation doesn’t have anything to do with being alone vs. being with people — it is about the human desire to feel connected by being seen and valued by another person.

我們都有過孤獨的經歷。我曾在一段沒有情感聯系的關系中感受過孤獨。孤獨感的產生與是否孑然一身或是否與人在一起并沒有任何關系——它關乎的是人類對人際關系的渴望，那種被人看見并珍視的感覺。

If your tendency is to spend time alone, practice saying yes to invitations. Practice moving towards rather than away from people.

如果你傾向于獨自消磨時光，那么試著練習接受別人的邀請。試著學會和大家一起度過時光，而不是遠離他們。

We all benefit from connection. That homeless man impacted my day. After encountering him, I felt more grateful — appreciating all that I have. He triggered my compassion — I found myself feelingempathy for him. I had the choice to move towards separation or connection. Were there many ways in which he and I are very different? Absolutely! Are there many ways in which we are alike! Absolutely! I can reflect on times in my life that like him, I was in a situation I had never anticipated, times that I felt broke, times that I felt at a low point. And as he may have been feeling this morning, times when I needed someone to stop and acknowledge me.

我們都會從與人交流中受益。那位無家可歸的人影響了我的一天。遇到他后，我感到更為感恩，感激我所擁有的一切。他激發了我的憐憫之情，我發現自己對他有了同理心。我能夠選擇到底是與人疏遠還是與人交流。他和我有很多不同之處嗎?絕對有!他和我有很多相似之處?絕對有!我能回想起自己生命中與他一樣的時刻，像這樣處于一個我從未預料到的情況之中：支離破碎、踟躕低谷;以及像他今天早上可能感覺到的一樣，需要有人為我停下腳步，不把我當透明人看。

We always have a choice as to whether we move towards separation or connection. Separation is looking at the homeless person and focusing on how unkempt he looks, and criticizing why he has a 7-11 Slurpee cup if he is out of money. Connection is acknowledging that he impacted my day by reaching out to me.

我們總可以選擇是拒人于千里之外還是與接納別人。拒人于千里之外，就是看到無家可歸的人時只注意到他看起來是多么凌亂，并錙銖必較地想著如果他身無分文又為何有一個7-11思樂冰杯。而接納他，則是是承認他通過主動接觸我而影響了我的一天。

Pay attention today and notice whether you tend to move towards separation or towards connection. Pay attention today and notice whether that is working well for you.

關注當下，仔細想想你的方向到底是拒絕還是接納。關注當下，想想這么做是不是真的對你好。

更多精彩內容，請查閱自學庫英語網http://yingyu.chazidian.com/