請別管我的T恤上說什么好嗎?

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            請別管我的T恤上說什么好嗎?

            如今,越來越多的T恤衫上印有文字,穿好了是時尚,是彰顯個性,穿不好就是尷尬。很多時候,人們購買T恤衫時并不會認真去看上面印的文字,因此有時就會遇到尷尬的情況,比如路人會誤解你的政治傾向并怒目相視,又或者就你根本不知道的東西滔滔不絕起來。想要避免這種情況,下次當你挑T恤衫時,看一眼上面印的東西吧。

            The man slapped me on the back and said, “So, tell me about Kleer .”

            I threw him a questioning look. Picking up on this, he pointed and said, “Your T-shirt.”

            I looked down and read its message: “Kleer—Think Beyond Wood.”

            Oh!

            The deal is this: I buy my T-shirts at the local thrift shop. Fifty cents for a tee in crisp, clean condition. What a bargain! The message on the shirt is of little importance to me. Once I’ve bought the shirt, I forget about it. This means that I am often taken off guard when others note whatever it is I’m inadvertently advertising. The responses aren’t always of the back-slapping kind.

            Consider the man who growled at me when he noted my bright green tee: “You liberals are all alike!” he said.

            The back of my shirt read: “Fair contract. Now!” I had no idea what it pertained to. No matter. In the eyes of the offended man, I was a liberal. And I was like all other liberals. Whatever that means.

            Another fellow clucked his tongue and said, sourly, “You do know you’re in Red Sox country, right?” It was only then that I remembered I was wearing a Yankees T-shirt. All I could do was nod in response.

            But most of the messages I carry do not elicit anything resembling hostility or even a frown. If people comment at all, it mostly reflects approbation, if not enthusiasm. I have a striking red tee with the white Polish eagle emblazoned on the front, along with the word “Polska.” One day, while strolling across the campus where I teach, a robust bear of a student threw his arm around my shoulder and exclaimed, “Brother!” He told me he was from Russia and that we Slavs have to stick together. It so happens that I am of Polish ancestry, but I have never been much interested in alliances.

            In another instance, I picked up a handsome tee that bore the logo of the American Folk Festival , held yearly in Bangor, Maine. In large letters across the back it read, “VOLUNTEER.” This elicited a comment from a pleasant woman: “Thank you for your time and effort.”

            You’re welcome.

            Other tees have stimulated lengthy, and pleasant, conversation. I have a spectacular T-shirt with a garish splattering of colorful fruits and vegetables on the front. The caption: “World’s Largest Fruit Salad—UMass Amherst.” This was the impetus for a wonderful exchange initiated by an organic farmer at one of our open-air markets here in Maine. It turns out he had attended UMass Amherst and knew all about the phenomenal salad. When he was done singing its praises I felt as if I had done a heroic deed simply by wearing the shirt.

            Some of my tees bear messages attesting to accomplishments I can take no credit for. I am not a Cessna pilot. I did not take part in the Kenduskeag Stream Canoe Race in 2024. I have never walked the entire Appalachian Trail, and I do not speak Esperanto.

            However, there are messages I do wish I could find, for they would reflect my experiences and sensibilities:

            “I have visited Greenland.”

            “Thoreau. Now more than ever.”

            “Don’t let school interfere with your education.”

            “Baking soda can be used for almost anything.”

            But perhaps, trumping all of these, I should settle for a message of rote candor, to wit: “This is not my shirt. I bought it at a thrift shop.”

            That would, I think, keep everybody honest.

            Vocabulary

            1. slap: 拍打。

            2. Kleer: 一種無線音頻傳輸技術。

            3. pick up on: 注意、覺察。

            4. thrift shop:

            舊貨店。

            5. crisp: 干凈的,整潔的。

            6. 這就代表,每當有人注意到我不經意間“廣告”的東西時,我總是措手不及。off guard: 放松警惕,猝不及防;inadvertently: 無心地,不經意地。

            7. growl: 憤憤不平地抱怨,氣沖沖地說;liberal: 自由主義者。

            8. pertain to: 相關,關于。

            9. cluck: 發出(表示生氣或不贊同的)咯咯聲;sourly: 酸溜溜地,沒好氣地;Red Sox: 波士頓紅襪隊,隸屬于美國聯盟東區的美國職棒大聯盟球隊;country: 地區。

            10. Yankees: 紐約揚基隊,世界最著名的體育俱樂部之一,隸屬于美國聯盟東區的美國職棒大聯盟球隊。

            11. 很多時候我衣服上印的文字不會招致別人的反對甚至不悅。elicit: 引起,招來;hostility: 反對;frown: 皺眉(表示不悅或不認可)。

            12. approbation: 認可,贊許。

            13. 我有一件鮮紅色的T恤衫,前面印有一只白色的波蘭老鷹以及一個波蘭單詞“Polska”。striking: 引人注目的;emblazon: 用紋章裝飾;Polska: 波蘭語的“Poland”。

            14. stroll: 閑逛,漫步;exclaim: 大叫,驚呼。

            15. Slav: 斯拉夫人。

            16. 碰巧我有波蘭血統,但我對老鄉聯盟實在沒什么興趣。ancestry: 祖先,世系;alliance: 聯盟。

            17. American Folk Festival: 美國民間音樂節。

            18. garish: 炫目的,過于艷麗的;splattering: 潑濺,灑落。

            19. caption: 說明文字;UMass Amherst: 馬薩諸塞大學阿默斯特分校(University of Massachusetts Amherst)。

            20. 在緬因州一個露天市場,一位有機菜農因這行文字與我展開了一場有趣的交流。impetus: 動力;initiate: 發起。

            21. phenomenal: 非凡的,了不起的。

            22. attest to: 證明;take credit for sth.: 把某事歸功于某人。

            23. Cessna: 賽斯納飛行器公司,一家位于美國堪薩斯州的飛機制造商。

            24. Kenduskeag Stream Canoe Race: 肯達斯奇格溪流獨木舟比賽。

            25. Appalachian Trail: 阿巴拉契亞國家步道,是美國最長的徒步旅行步道之一是美國阿巴拉契亞山脈的一條小路;Esperanto: 世界語,是波蘭籍語言學家柴門霍夫博士于1887年創立的一種國際輔助語,旨在消除國際交往的語言障礙,被譽為“國際普通話”。

            26. Thoreau: 亨利?戴維?梭羅(Henry David Thoreau,1817—1862),美國作家、哲學家,代表作為《瓦爾登湖》。

            27. interfere with: 干預,干涉。

            28. 但我個人認為,位居所有這些口號之首的也許是一句坦誠之言,那就是:非本人T恤衫,從二手店淘來。trump: 勝過;settle for: 滿足于,勉強接受;rote: 熟記,死記硬背;candor: 坦率;to wit: 那就是說,即是。

            如今,越來越多的T恤衫上印有文字,穿好了是時尚,是彰顯個性,穿不好就是尷尬。很多時候,人們購買T恤衫時并不會認真去看上面印的文字,因此有時就會遇到尷尬的情況,比如路人會誤解你的政治傾向并怒目相視,又或者就你根本不知道的東西滔滔不絕起來。想要避免這種情況,下次當你挑T恤衫時,看一眼上面印的東西吧。

            The man slapped me on the back and said, “So, tell me about Kleer .”

            I threw him a questioning look. Picking up on this, he pointed and said, “Your T-shirt.”

            I looked down and read its message: “Kleer—Think Beyond Wood.”

            Oh!

            The deal is this: I buy my T-shirts at the local thrift shop. Fifty cents for a tee in crisp, clean condition. What a bargain! The message on the shirt is of little importance to me. Once I’ve bought the shirt, I forget about it. This means that I am often taken off guard when others note whatever it is I’m inadvertently advertising. The responses aren’t always of the back-slapping kind.

            Consider the man who growled at me when he noted my bright green tee: “You liberals are all alike!” he said.

            The back of my shirt read: “Fair contract. Now!” I had no idea what it pertained to. No matter. In the eyes of the offended man, I was a liberal. And I was like all other liberals. Whatever that means.

            Another fellow clucked his tongue and said, sourly, “You do know you’re in Red Sox country, right?” It was only then that I remembered I was wearing a Yankees T-shirt. All I could do was nod in response.

            But most of the messages I carry do not elicit anything resembling hostility or even a frown. If people comment at all, it mostly reflects approbation, if not enthusiasm. I have a striking red tee with the white Polish eagle emblazoned on the front, along with the word “Polska.” One day, while strolling across the campus where I teach, a robust bear of a student threw his arm around my shoulder and exclaimed, “Brother!” He told me he was from Russia and that we Slavs have to stick together. It so happens that I am of Polish ancestry, but I have never been much interested in alliances.

            In another instance, I picked up a handsome tee that bore the logo of the American Folk Festival , held yearly in Bangor, Maine. In large letters across the back it read, “VOLUNTEER.” This elicited a comment from a pleasant woman: “Thank you for your time and effort.”

            You’re welcome.

            Other tees have stimulated lengthy, and pleasant, conversation. I have a spectacular T-shirt with a garish splattering of colorful fruits and vegetables on the front. The caption: “World’s Largest Fruit Salad—UMass Amherst.” This was the impetus for a wonderful exchange initiated by an organic farmer at one of our open-air markets here in Maine. It turns out he had attended UMass Amherst and knew all about the phenomenal salad. When he was done singing its praises I felt as if I had done a heroic deed simply by wearing the shirt.

            Some of my tees bear messages attesting to accomplishments I can take no credit for. I am not a Cessna pilot. I did not take part in the Kenduskeag Stream Canoe Race in 2024. I have never walked the entire Appalachian Trail, and I do not speak Esperanto.

            However, there are messages I do wish I could find, for they would reflect my experiences and sensibilities:

            “I have visited Greenland.”

            “Thoreau. Now more than ever.”

            “Don’t let school interfere with your education.”

            “Baking soda can be used for almost anything.”

            But perhaps, trumping all of these, I should settle for a message of rote candor, to wit: “This is not my shirt. I bought it at a thrift shop.”

            That would, I think, keep everybody honest.

            Vocabulary

            1. slap: 拍打。

            2. Kleer: 一種無線音頻傳輸技術。

            3. pick up on: 注意、覺察。

            4. thrift shop: <美>舊貨店。

            5. crisp: 干凈的,整潔的。

            6. 這就代表,每當有人注意到我不經意間“廣告”的東西時,我總是措手不及。off guard: 放松警惕,猝不及防;inadvertently: 無心地,不經意地。

            7. growl: 憤憤不平地抱怨,氣沖沖地說;liberal: 自由主義者。

            8. pertain to: 相關,關于。

            9. cluck: 發出(表示生氣或不贊同的)咯咯聲;sourly: 酸溜溜地,沒好氣地;Red Sox: 波士頓紅襪隊,隸屬于美國聯盟東區的美國職棒大聯盟球隊;country: 地區。

            10. Yankees: 紐約揚基隊,世界最著名的體育俱樂部之一,隸屬于美國聯盟東區的美國職棒大聯盟球隊。

            11. 很多時候我衣服上印的文字不會招致別人的反對甚至不悅。elicit: 引起,招來;hostility: 反對;frown: 皺眉(表示不悅或不認可)。

            12. approbation: 認可,贊許。

            13. 我有一件鮮紅色的T恤衫,前面印有一只白色的波蘭老鷹以及一個波蘭單詞“Polska”。striking: 引人注目的;emblazon: 用紋章裝飾;Polska: 波蘭語的“Poland”。

            14. stroll: 閑逛,漫步;exclaim: 大叫,驚呼。

            15. Slav: 斯拉夫人。

            16. 碰巧我有波蘭血統,但我對老鄉聯盟實在沒什么興趣。ancestry: 祖先,世系;alliance: 聯盟。

            17. American Folk Festival: 美國民間音樂節。

            18. garish: 炫目的,過于艷麗的;splattering: 潑濺,灑落。

            19. caption: 說明文字;UMass Amherst: 馬薩諸塞大學阿默斯特分校(University of Massachusetts Amherst)。

            20. 在緬因州一個露天市場,一位有機菜農因這行文字與我展開了一場有趣的交流。impetus: 動力;initiate: 發起。

            21. phenomenal: 非凡的,了不起的。

            22. attest to: 證明;take credit for sth.: 把某事歸功于某人。

            23. Cessna: 賽斯納飛行器公司,一家位于美國堪薩斯州的飛機制造商。

            24. Kenduskeag Stream Canoe Race: 肯達斯奇格溪流獨木舟比賽。

            25. Appalachian Trail: 阿巴拉契亞國家步道,是美國最長的徒步旅行步道之一是美國阿巴拉契亞山脈的一條小路;Esperanto: 世界語,是波蘭籍語言學家柴門霍夫博士于1887年創立的一種國際輔助語,旨在消除國際交往的語言障礙,被譽為“國際普通話”。

            26. Thoreau: 亨利?戴維?梭羅(Henry David Thoreau,1817—1862),美國作家、哲學家,代表作為《瓦爾登湖》。

            27. interfere with: 干預,干涉。

            28. 但我個人認為,位居所有這些口號之首的也許是一句坦誠之言,那就是:非本人T恤衫,從二手店淘來。trump: 勝過;settle for: 滿足于,勉強接受;rote: 熟記,死記硬背;candor: 坦率;to wit: 那就是說,即是。

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