2024屆高考英語考前沖刺精品復習講義（北師大版）：寫作（十三）
2024屆高考英語考前沖刺精品復習講義（北師大版）：寫作（十三）
請你談談轎車大量進入家庭后，對家庭、環境和經濟可能產生的影響。學生習作·外教批改
Nowadays，it is common to see more and more private cars come_and_go_in_streets1 on the roads in China.People like_to_buy2 want to own cars because they are fast and convenient.Many_families_are_able_to Owning a car allows many families3 to travel to nearby towns and tourist attractions during holidays by_car.Besides, the4car industry can promote the economy of our country.
However，the ever-increasing number of cars has also given rise to a series of problems.For example，too_many_cars
_have_caused5 the increase in the number of cars on the roads has resulted in traffic jams and more traffic accidents.In_addition，cars_are_still_very_expensive_to_buy_in_China_today6. The Worst of all7 ，the_gas_given_off_from_cars car emissions8 pollute the air，which is harmful to health.
Therefore，in my opinion，the number of cars allowed in_streets on the roads should be kept9 under control so as to reduce pollution and traffic accidents they cause.If the balance is well kept，private cars will play a positive role in our life lives and make our life easier and more comfortable.
旁 批
1．轎車行駛在馬路(roads)上，而不是街道(streets)上。當我們泛指或給出統計數字時，一般說number of cars on the roads；而當我們說the man on the street或people on the streets時，意思是“普通大眾”。
2．當你說like to buy的時候，這件事就是一個習慣。不是很多人都能把買轎車當成習慣的！
3．你在解釋為什么人們想擁有轎車，就要說這樣做(擁有轎車)使他們有可能去異地旅行。這就使“擁有轎車”(owing a car)成為句子的重點，而非“家庭”(families)。原句沒有很好地表達這一層含義。
4．industry是不可數名詞，表泛指時，不加冠詞。
5．原句暗含的意思：很多車都出過交通事故這是一個事實。可能這是真實的，但是作者想表達的要點是：轎車數量的增加導致了事故的增多。
6．這怎么是一個問題呢？它可能是個問題，但你必須解釋它是個什么問題。
7．正確的表達是：worst of all，不要在前面加the。
8．emissions這個單詞更恰當。意思是“發出物，散發物”。
9．這里遺漏了動詞kept，因為under control意思是已經得到了控制。 這是一篇尚好的作文。作者使用了較為復雜的詞匯(如：give rise to，give off)和結構，并表現出對詞性的準確理解。同時，作者在這篇議論文中也很好地使用了連接短語。
要小心使用不同的表達方式。如：like to buy與want to own。雖然作者本意很清楚，但誤用短語能夠完全改變句子含義。 高分作文秘訣之六：避免出現句子的結構性錯誤。例如：
Instead of (不要說：)There are twenty students in our class have been to Beijing.
Use (要說：)Twenty students in our class have been to Beijing.
Instead of (不要說：)Many of the students against the plan.
Use (要說：)Many of the students are against the plan.
Instead of (不要說：)Professor Li comes from Beijing University will give us a lecture tomorrow.
Use (要說：)Professor Li from Beijing University will give us a lecture tomorrow.電腦的使用越來越廣泛，給人們帶來了諸多方便，但是如果使用不當，也會影響人們的身體健康。請根據下面的要點，寫一篇120詞左右的英語短文，說明電腦對人體健康的不利影響，并提出改善建議。
1．長時間使用電腦會損害眼睛，影響視力；
2．過多地依賴電腦會造成記憶力減退；
3．久坐電腦前容易造成腰背疼痛、肥胖等問題。
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參考范文：
As computers are being used more and more widely in our life，they have brought us a lot of convenience.However，attention should be paid to their bad effects on people’s health.
To begin with，the bright screen and the frequently-rolling words on it do much harm to our eyes，gradually weakening our eyesight.Besides，depending too much on computers may lead to a worse memory.Most importantly，when using computers，people tend to sit before them for a long time.That is why many people often feel uncomfortable on the back.And some may even get too fat.
To improve the situation，I think there should be a short rest every other hour to relax our eyes and brain.Moreover，people should avoid using computers unless necessary.We can keep out of the trouble they bring if we use them properly.
2024屆高考英語考前沖刺精品復習講義（北師大版）：寫作（十三）
請你談談轎車大量進入家庭后，對家庭、環境和經濟可能產生的影響。學生習作·外教批改
Nowadays，it is common to see more and more private cars come_and_go_in_streets1 on the roads in China.People like_to_buy2 want to own cars because they are fast and convenient.Many_families_are_able_to Owning a car allows many families3 to travel to nearby towns and tourist attractions during holidays by_car.Besides, the4car industry can promote the economy of our country.
However，the ever-increasing number of cars has also given rise to a series of problems.For example，too_many_cars
_have_caused5 the increase in the number of cars on the roads has resulted in traffic jams and more traffic accidents.In_addition，cars_are_still_very_expensive_to_buy_in_China_today6. The Worst of all7 ，the_gas_given_off_from_cars car emissions8 pollute the air，which is harmful to health.
Therefore，in my opinion，the number of cars allowed in_streets on the roads should be kept9 under control so as to reduce pollution and traffic accidents they cause.If the balance is well kept，private cars will play a positive role in our life lives and make our life easier and more comfortable.
旁 批
1．轎車行駛在馬路(roads)上，而不是街道(streets)上。當我們泛指或給出統計數字時，一般說number of cars on the roads；而當我們說the man on the street或people on the streets時，意思是“普通大眾”。
2．當你說like to buy的時候，這件事就是一個習慣。不是很多人都能把買轎車當成習慣的！
3．你在解釋為什么人們想擁有轎車，就要說這樣做(擁有轎車)使他們有可能去異地旅行。這就使“擁有轎車”(owing a car)成為句子的重點，而非“家庭”(families)。原句沒有很好地表達這一層含義。
4．industry是不可數名詞，表泛指時，不加冠詞。
5．原句暗含的意思：很多車都出過交通事故這是一個事實。可能這是真實的，但是作者想表達的要點是：轎車數量的增加導致了事故的增多。
6．這怎么是一個問題呢？它可能是個問題，但你必須解釋它是個什么問題。
7．正確的表達是：worst of all，不要在前面加the。
8．emissions這個單詞更恰當。意思是“發出物，散發物”。
9．這里遺漏了動詞kept，因為under control意思是已經得到了控制。 這是一篇尚好的作文。作者使用了較為復雜的詞匯(如：give rise to，give off)和結構，并表現出對詞性的準確理解。同時，作者在這篇議論文中也很好地使用了連接短語。
要小心使用不同的表達方式。如：like to buy與want to own。雖然作者本意很清楚，但誤用短語能夠完全改變句子含義。 高分作文秘訣之六：避免出現句子的結構性錯誤。例如：
Instead of (不要說：)There are twenty students in our class have been to Beijing.
Use (要說：)Twenty students in our class have been to Beijing.
Instead of (不要說：)Many of the students against the plan.
Use (要說：)Many of the students are against the plan.
Instead of (不要說：)Professor Li comes from Beijing University will give us a lecture tomorrow.
Use (要說：)Professor Li from Beijing University will give us a lecture tomorrow.電腦的使用越來越廣泛，給人們帶來了諸多方便，但是如果使用不當，也會影響人們的身體健康。請根據下面的要點，寫一篇120詞左右的英語短文，說明電腦對人體健康的不利影響，并提出改善建議。
1．長時間使用電腦會損害眼睛，影響視力；
2．過多地依賴電腦會造成記憶力減退；
3．久坐電腦前容易造成腰背疼痛、肥胖等問題。
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
參考范文：
As computers are being used more and more widely in our life，they have brought us a lot of convenience.However，attention should be paid to their bad effects on people’s health.
To begin with，the bright screen and the frequently-rolling words on it do much harm to our eyes，gradually weakening our eyesight.Besides，depending too much on computers may lead to a worse memory.Most importantly，when using computers，people tend to sit before them for a long time.That is why many people often feel uncomfortable on the back.And some may even get too fat.
To improve the situation，I think there should be a short rest every other hour to relax our eyes and brain.Moreover，people should avoid using computers unless necessary.We can keep out of the trouble they bring if we use them properly.
